I went to my doctor today,
Anxious to hear what he`d say,
You`ve got piles young fella my lad,
Nothing to worry over, They`re not that bad.
Wondered why i`d to sit on one cheek,
Felt like my sphinckter ad sprung a leak,
Only the farmers,What the hell,
When I sat on both cheeks, I could tell.
Try this ointment and this rubber band,
If all that fails,I`ll try me hand,
Not chuffin likely, I said to the quack,
Come near me piles, You`ll get a swift whack.
Coupled with that you have the worms,
Not surprised when you sit, Your backside squirms,
Hoping and praying, This wont last long,
Can`t stand the pain, Can`t wear me thong.
The inconvenience is not overstated,
With these piles,I`m so irritated,
Feels like me backside is over inflated,
To top all this, I`m so constipated.
Indulge yourself with pile cream,
Now and again, You`ll let out a scream,
The pain is horrendous,
Hang on to hope, The cure is tremendous.
