THE BARLOWS AND MAGOCKIES BY JIM BYRNE

The Barlows and Magockies were always at war
Barlow came out and clipped Magockies jaw
Down in a daze,Everything a haze
Chuffin nora Mavis, You`ve had better days

A long standing fued over kids had ensued
You fly by night trollop, Your so chuffin rude
I`ll wallop your kids,And you besides
Get on your feet,Don`t think you can hide

Two fat ladies, Scrapping in the dirt
Very common,Just Two big fat flirts
Magockie lashed out with such stunning force
Barlow lay moaning,Still shouting of course

The air had turned blue as the crowd grew and grew
Magockie was winning,She was using her shoe
Big barlow`s corsetts had burst wide open
her massive behind, What can you do,

Get up you trollop, Your showing us up
Your showing your sundries,Pick them all up
Barlow hit out,Down went Magockie,
That`ll teach you, Your far to cocky

Two ladies showing all they had got
Rolling in dirt ,this was their lot
a day without scrapping just wasn`t right
The Barlows and Magockies just had to fight

Copyright James Byrne

A HAUNTING BY JIM BYRNE

I spotted thee muther int middle ot neet
Hers bin dead ten year,her gid me a freet
A thowt wid geet burglers, Were sendin fot bobbies
It were thee muther knittin, Doin er hobbies

House wants doin ya big lazy oaf
ger out o yer pit, Go gerra loaf
nows not covenient, Call again later
I`ll haunt thee forever ya big fat taater

Her nagged me in life night noon and day
Her still does it now in much the same way
I`ll get one o they excorsists That`ll doot trick
Ill gid her a whack wit me big walkin stick

Her thinks i`m stupid, She knows thats not true
She flings things at me,Usually me shoe
I`m nailin them down,Cos when tha`s gont sleep
A clout round the yead with thee shoe makes thee weep

I`ll have the last laugh, She doesn`t know it
I`ll have five excorsists waitin,She`s blown it
What she`s got comin is down to herself
How dare she still nag, She`s jealous o me wealth

Copyright  James Byrne